The return of Singularity, and other miscellanea

It's back!

It's difficult for me to imagine that we're entering only the fourth year of having a brewery like Driftwood around. They are, and continue to be, BC's Dogfish Head: putting out the sort of beer that you'd elect flag-carrier for the nation at some sort of world-beer throwdown.

This year's Singularity is no exception. It pours as black as squid ink and tastes like drinking barrel-aged 90%-cocoa chocolate fondue. Additionally, if it's 11.8%, then a Tim Horton's Maple Cream Doughnut is low-carb. Everybody knows this beer is at least 14% worth of lip-smacking darkness. If you could bottle all the sexy things Barry White ever said, this is what it would be. My favourite thing to do is this: hold up a pint of Guinness to a bright light - it'll show through red. Hold up a pint of Singularity to the same light - black as the dark side of the moon at night during January.

What else; well how about this?

It pains me to say it, but even Megadestroyer isn't something that you should drink after tasting Singularity. Mega-D is really quite good this year but it's a whole different level of insanity. If you want to have a go at something fun, be blasphemous and pour yourself a half-and-half. The resulting melange of imperial stout hits the low notes like a double bass. Phenomenal.

Now here's something interesting.

I passed over these beers in the bottom of the fridge at 16th street liquor store because... well because I didn't think they were beer.

As it turns out, and despite the seemingly-strange things added to the brew (not just limes, but lemongrass and other spices in the tripel), they're actually pretty good. Partially, I know I'm giving both these brews the benefit of the doubt because they're in cans, and I'm always a sucker for the aluminum, but both worth picking up should you stumble across 'em, particularly the Baltic Porter.

An Extra Special Bitter Rivalry: YADBB's Election

Bedad it's early. Tell the truth, I'm a bit fuzzy today after sampling a dozen beers last night with the lads and --c'mere 'til I tell you something funny-- I had this crazy dream where despite repeated abuses of power and enviro-trashing, we elected the Lego-haired robo-Steve to a thundering majority. Crazy, right?

*pause*

WE DID WHAT?!?!?!

Well, it's post-election hangover time (figuratively and literally) and as I sit wool-gathering with a cuppa of Bushell's, it's also time to dissect the beer pairing for last night's electoral frivolities: a sampling of every last Bitter in BC!

That I could find.

Last Wednesday.

A last minute delivery came by float-plane thanks to @GingerLiz, but other than that, the lineup of beers that faced off on Monday night are all readily available given a modicum of footwork. Notable absences include Big River Brewing's ESB (mentioned by @janteweats as being among the best) and Granville Island Brewing's Bitter, which is receiving high praise so far. Why're they missing? Well, both are only available at the brewery, and while that's not a disqualification (Blue Moon hem-hem) it just made it impossible to get our hands on them for an on-Island tasting. But first, let's set the bar.

As it turns out, we're setting the bar rather low. Fuller's ESB is a old favourite of mine, but when I did a little research to determine how it sat in the ESB lineup, I discovered that the judging guidelines contra-indicate for comparing other bitters against the Fuller's floral, malty profile. Wait, "judging guidelines?" Like I'm going to pay attention to those. It's time to stack the Supreme Court.

Opinion was mixed, but the Fuller's tastes like an old friend. Hum. that sounds unnecessarily dirty. It's true though: this is a very familiar, English-y beer, and will appeal to fans of Wychwood, Black Sheep and the like. Light fruit, bread and toffee tones: tastes like eating the world's blandest fruitcake.

Our first BC brew to take a bow is from Spinnaker's: Mitchell's ESB. Frankly, much like the election, I'm braced for faint disappointment. Nothing against Spinnaker's as an establishment, but their Blue Bridge Double IPA resembles other single IPAs in the same way that the structure from which it takes its name resembles the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm expecting it to be thin and vapid and, unfortunately, this isn't Canada's Next Top Model.

But the Mitchell's surprises by being... not bad! A bit too fizzy, but fairly true to the style, and I bet it'd be nice in-cask. Verdict: worth a try if you're at the pub itself.

Next up is Swan's ESB. I tend to forget about Swan's a bit. Sometimes you can get their bombers everywhere, sometimes you have to go right to the source. I'm curious to see whether the cask they're running at Tres Fantastico helps spread the word and gets them to step up their game a little, although their Coconut Porter is an excellent beer that nobody else does. Would you also seek out their ESB?

Well, maybe. It's nicer than the Mitchell's, that's for sure, but it's still very mild. Makes for a nice pint on a hot day, but I don't know whether I'd ride all the way into town to track it down. Verdict: best at the pub, or on-cask.

Russell's Blood Alley comes as a bit of a surprise. Frankly, my first whiff let me know that I'd buggered up the tasting order. Big hop aroma after the other three, more of a west-coast-style ESB. It's dry-hopped, natch, and there's some big pungencies from the Columbus here.

Overall, well-received, but the baby-IPA-style IBUs may have smashed our palate for the next contestant...

But it hasn't. Howe Sound Brewing's Baldwin and Cooper has some big shoes to fill, and I remember their Bailout as being quite light-drinking. This ESB isn't.

It's got the hops and the earthy, near-acrid finish you expect from West-Siiide stylings, but without the pungency, and with big malts adding a smooth brown bass line. Very drinkable in style. Nuttier than a certain political party. Front-runner for sure.

I thought I had taken a better picture. Oh well; if you aren't already familiar with Central City's unvarying artwork, then you must be living in a cave. In which case, ask a SEAL to describe it.

This beer got shafted. By that I mean that we should have had it about 3rd in rotation. Leaving it until after the Russell and the Baldwin just makes it look kind of half-hearted, when it's actually a very nice beer. Not really sure it's a true ESB, so much as the Red Racer IPA Training Wheels Edition, but it's certainly worth grabbing a six.

Recent champ at CAMRA's spring Fest-of-Ale, Moon Under Water's Blue Moon Bitter is a favourite after-work wind-down. Others, who'd been lucky enough to sample a few early editions preferred the old original, but I like the new tweaked brew.

Problem is, in bomber form, it loses a bit of that fresh hop tastiness. We were lucky enough to have a fresh-drawn growler for comparison, and you could tell the bottled beer had been blunted somewhat. Still very good.

Ah, Hildegard. Probably the best thing about this whole tasting was a better appreciation for what Driftwood has done with the Naughty Nun.

My initial impressions on Hildegard's initial release were, frankly, tinged with pining for the piney perfection of last year's model. That beer wasn't an ESB, but it was Extra Special.

Having gone through the lineup though, this year's Hildegard shows her strengths. It's a very nice west-coast ESB, and oh-so-bitter. Lip-smacking for sure.

But we weren't done yet. Ian showed up with an Elysian ESB (the Wise) which surprised and delighted all, especially Dan, who had some rather unpleasant things to say about their IPAs, and we also managed to cram in a couple of Propeller ESBs. East Coasters, how does Keith's survive with this stuff readily available? It's all about supply and command.

Lastly, I'm happy to report that Lighthouse's Overboard Imperial Pilsner isn't fubar. And I think we liked the Serendipity No. 3 that Dave brought.

But for the next four years of bitterness, there's only one beer for me. If you're at the brewpubs from whence they came, stick with the Spinnaker's, the Swan's and the MUW's. Try to at least sample the Blood Alley and the Hildegard before they disappear.

Baldwin and Cooper's though, that's the must-have.

Barleywine, Best Bitter and a Barrel of ESB.

This is a Woolly Bugger.

So is this.

And so is this, Howe Sound Brewing's Woolly Bugger Barleywine.

For those of you not aware, Barleywine is a style of beer that's usually high-alcohol, high-intensity, and with a specific gravity resembling that of the core of a gas giant. For many beerthusiasts, it's the Holy Grail of beer because you can cellar it much like you would a fine wine, thus giving you ammunition against sniffy oenophiles who might look down their nose at you when you bump into them at the till.

But then, we beerthusiasts have many Holy Grails. Honestly, it's like Crazy Pope Benedict IX's holy relic fire sale around here. You've got your fresh harvest ales, your sour ales, your giant biblically named bottles (jeroboam and up), your double and triple IPAs and then there's the scramble to touch your cup to any cask that gets tapped like it was the pierced side of Jeebus.

Anyways, lets leave the Woolly Bugger for a mo' and talk about the re-jigging of Moon Under Water's excellent beers.

Moon Under Water is a nice place to visit. That may sound like a bit of a low-powered compliment, but it's true: it's a nice, warm pub without the cacophonic clatter you normally find at your usual happenin' joint. I'm pleased to report that whatever fiddling they did with the Blue Moon Best Bitter enhanced the malts a bit, but left it still a comforting, companion-like beer that's the perfect partner to a heaping helping of toad-in-the-hole. I hope this doesn't offend the brewer in any way, but he's basically created beer slippers.

And you can now take it home. Unlike hoppier, punchier beers like Driftwood's Fat Tug IPA, Blue Moon loses little (if anything) in the bottle, and it should quickly become a fridge staple.

Speaking of Driftwood, I very nearly missed their Naughty Hildegard cask at the Beagle yesterday. The usual work-related SNAFUs saw me race in, grab a pint and then scurry out.

Driftwood does nothing to their casks other than just take them off the main tank, but there is a subtle difference when compared to their bottles, so I was curious to see if Hilde's character was any different fresh out of the convent, so to speak. If anything, she's a bit milder, but I have to say, I miss last year's floral nose-bomb a bit. On cask, I bet it'd rival Sartori.

But anyway, back to the Woolly Bugger. It's a tiny bottle, just big enough to share, the perfect ending to a day no fish would die.

I'm back! Damn it.

Judging from the way my blog readership has dwindled over the past two weeks, I'd say that everybody's pretty sick of hearing about how great my Hawaiian vacay was. Well, here's the good news crab-bukkits, I'm back and I'm as grumpy, wet, cold and miserable as the rest of you. I just have a few more freckles is all.

At least, I hope that's why there's been a bit of a dip in readership. It could be that this is a backlash to my Czechvar diss, which seemed to inflame quite a few passions (I know, I know: I'm an idiot), or maybe the novelty of the Post-it Sou'wester has run its course. I hope not.

Brendan: "Well, I think I'll blog about a beer I like."

The Plain People Of The Internet: "Not good enough. Eat an entire baconjam-smeared honey ham now. Make a top hat out of butter and shoe-polish!"

Brendan: "Uh...actually, that doesn't sound like very much fun..."

The Plain People Of The Internet: "Drink five Singularities! Do a Battle Royale of Drano vs. Clorox! Drink toenail-clipping homebrew!"

Brendan: "Well, I'd really rather not, but..."

The Plain People Of The Internet: "WE DEMAND ENTERTAINMENT!! DANCE, MONKEY!!!"

Brendan: *dancing*

The Plain People Of The Internet: "What a crappy dancer. Let's go download pictures of the Molson Girls instead."

However, I'm choosing to believe that you're all just bored of sunny pictures, and would rather I get down to drinking some good local beer. Well, fine.

One of the things I was really excited to get back and try was Driftwood's Cuvee D'Hiver. I admit it, my French is a little rusty, but I've successfully translated this to mean: "Cuvee D'Hiver." It's a tasty little brew, crisp as anything, and I could really see drinking one after hauling a bloody stupid heavy-looking rake around all day in the Belgian sun. Is Belgium sunny? Well, whatever.

Hey Driftwood! Let's get a cask of this over in Victoria. You've shipped about five of them over to the big smoke, and while it's good to see craft beer making the rounds, let's not forget your loyal supporters down at the Beagle. Trust me guys, you don't want the Plain People riled up.

The other beer I was happy to get home to try is this.

It's another outta-the-park for Howe Sound Brewing, a big fat hoppy Imperial Ale. I love the lolburgers name (it even has "Turn around bright eyes!" in the side comments), but I love the chewy, nutty taste too, especially when you let it warm up a little. The little orange guy expresses it best.

I also have a Rockfish Red, but I'll crack that another day with a fishy-themed post.

Just one more thing here. Driftwood and Howe Sound are great breweries, right? Oh, I'm sorry. According to some random idiot, only one of them rates among the top 10 BC Breweries. Phillips? Nope, not on the list. R&B? No chance. CAMRA Gold-medallist Central City Brewing? Duuurrr, I din't know Surrey wuz in B.C.!

I'm not going to make a top-10 list. Quite frankly, I hate them. Part of the great fun of being a beerthusiast is the sheer variety of stuff there is to choose from. And what would you base the top 10 on? Number of different styles? Overall sales?

If pressed, let me just say that you couldn't put together any proper BC Brewery list without both Howe Sound and Driftwood, and putting Fernie Brewing on a list instead of Phillips or Crannog or Fat Cat or Central City or any number of others makes you a micro-brained, non-beer-drinking hack. And that's no slight against Fernie either. "Try 'em all, big and small" is what I'm saying. Worst case scenario: you'll get an Untappd badge out of it.

Hot Damn of the Week: Howe Sound Brewing's Megadestroyer

Note: I have tried to keep the blog relatively free from swears so that it would be safe to read with your children before you tuck them in bed with a nice milk-stout. It was very hard to do so with this one.

N'other Note: It has come to my attention that some vegans may become offended by a comment in this post. In response to such, may I just point out that this a blog where at one point I'm wearing a hat made of Post-Its?


I have a big soft spot in my heart for Howe Sound Brewing as it was there, a pint of Diamond Head stout on the table, that I witnessed Sidney Crosby's Golden Goal. It's in all the papers these days, the so-called unifying moment that galvanized the country and etc. Personally, my Oly games highlight was Jon Montgomery pwning a pitcher of beer. Still, there I was, wearing the decade-old t-shirt pictured above, leaping around like a deranged orangutan, slapping people on the back, hootin' and (I'm sorry to say) hollerin' and generally carrying-on. It was Epic.

Small wonder then, that a beer of such epic-ness would be put forth from the same place that saw us unified as a nation (i.e. as defined by victorious comparison to the Yanks). I'm making a new word up: Epic-centre. HSB is an epic-center.
Exhibit A: The Megadestroyer.

HSB puts a little swing-cap on their beer so that if you don't finish it all at once, then you can re-seal it for another day. Aw. Isn't that cute?

Obviously, they've never met me. If I have a soft spot in my heart for the brewery, then I have an extra lobe in my liver for Imperial Stouts, and I'm extra-excited to be trying this one with its licorice over-tones and big star anise nose. But there's a problem.

Megadestroyer doesn't just have a cool name, it comes with its own leather coaster. Want to see what happened to a regular coaster when I tried to set my beer down on it?
I haven't seen anything blister like that since the last time Mel Gibson accidentally trod on sacred ground.

I know I've said that this isn't going to be a beer-pairing blog, and that there are plenty of places to go if you'd like to use beer in some sort of fruity wine-guy thing where you have triple-creme brie and thin slices of granny smith apple and a gewurtztraminer (actually, that sounds pretty good), but there is something that can handle the epic-ness of the Megadestroyer.

Today is Valentine's day, and I've already launched one missive to the world about my amazing wife and her inexplicable amour for her fat lazy ginger husband, but here's a little glimpse as to what I'm talking about when I say she's an incredible woman. It was one of my Christmas presents:
Yes, that does say, "Bacon Jam".

On a relationship scale, this is not like John Cusack standing in the rain, holding a boom box over his head that's blasting Peter Gabriel's "In your Eyes". No, this is like Simon Pegg and Nick Frost doing the same sort of thing IN A TANK.

Being that I've now taken to calling anything good, "Baconjam", I'm happy to report that the Megadestroyer is indeed baconjam.

But wait, how do I pair the most Epic beer on the market with the most epic spreadable product on the market? I mean, you can't just smear pork on liquid, and believe me, I've tried. Wait, what if...
Oh yeah. Yeah I did.

So what does the combination taste like? Well, basically, It's dinosaur-flying-a-jet-plane awesome!

The Megadestroyer is as thick and rich as a rapper's widow, and the baconx2 pairs with it like Thor fighting demons with a hammer made of pig. Truly, it is the most epic pairing since Page and Plant, Morello and de la Rocha, John Mayer and John Mayer's Ego.

One thing: why do I have shooting pains up my left arm?

Howe Sound Brewing Megadestroyer Imperial Licorice Stout
Recommended if:
-you think Mastadon is appropriate dinner-party music
-you're Dutch. Ishn't that weird?
-you've watched an Olympic hockey game with Nigel's (of the Alibi Room) mother-in-law. I have.

Not recommended if:
-you own a Kenny G cd
-you think twizzlers only come in red
-you're a vegan. Because your feeble bones will melt.