Another Damn Earth Day

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with beer.

Today is Earth day, a time when you're supposed to show your sensitivity to Mother Gaia by possibly not taking the Hummer to KFC until tomorrow. It's a time to think globally by acting locally, cut down on your greenhouse gas emissions and use organic Viagra instead of powdered Sumatran orang-utan scrotum.

I did my part. First, I left the car at home when I went grocery shopping. Secondly, I bought a nice organic Berkshire roast from a local farm, rather than lamb flown all the way from New Zealand. Thirdly, I passed a cow and, remembering that 14% of all greenhouse gas emissions come from methane-producing bovines, I punched it in its stupid, Earth-hating face.

Okay PETA-types, calm down, I didn't hurt Daisy one bit. But I did lock gazes with her and give her a really dirty look, which was bloody hard, what with cows not having stereoscopic vision. Gave me a headache.

Then, judging that I'd accomplished a suitable level of self-righteous do-goodery, I went and had a beer.

Unlike my other passion, the horseless motor-carriage, it is possible to enjoy a beer on Earth Day and feel completely guiltless for doing so. Unless you're a neurosurgeon or something. Beer, or at least good beer, is always made from all-natural products, and unless you're quaffing something with Papaya blended into it, almost all the ingredients can be sourced locally.

Organic beer? Well, that's nice, if you can get it, but USDA Organic certification is a bit of a con if you ask me. I'd rather have BC-grown carrots out of somebody's farm than Organic-certified produce flown up from California. First Local, then Organic, and then if you can't get any of that, the stuff that glows in the dark and tastes of bisphenol A.

I can think of no better paragon of locally-sourced, Earth Friendly brewing practices than Driftwood Brewing's Cuvee D'Hiver, which I enjoyed at Tres Fantastico. The restaurant/bistro/cafe was a short 10-minute bike-ride, the brewery's local (3 km away), and all the barley that went into the beer was grown and malted locally on the Saanich Peninsula.

Tres Fantastico is a great little place: you can read my Yelp review here. The beers were served at cellar temp, which opened up the fruity, grassy nature of the brew. Pairing was a very reasonable and delicious local charcuterie plate, but what really made the D'Hiver work this time was the gorgeous sunny day.

Last time I had the D'Hiver, it was a battleship-grey day with curtains of freezing rain sweeping across a sullen landscape of brown and browner. The effervescent, light and summery nature of the Saison seemed somehow out-of-place, like a a Viking in a sun-dress. Today though, Mother Nature smiled on my efforts to stop repeatedly pillaging her by rewarding me (and all #yyj peeps) with a sun-drenched hint of summer to come. Suddenly, the Viking was some flouncy Scandinavian princess, and the pigtails started making much more sense. What the hell am I talking about again? Oh right, beer.

Driftwood Brewing's Cuvee D'Hiver

Recommended if:

-Sexy Viking

-It's a summery day out

-You like a milder saison

Not Recommended if:

-Shave your legs, Snorri

-You want Deckhand-sized intensity

-It's raining. But then, it's Victoria after all. Just wait 5 minutes.

Battle Royale No. 2: All Hands on Deck!

Lighthouse Deckhand Belgian Saison vs Driftwood Farmhand Belgian Saison

Round One: Fight!

Confession time: I'm not a big fan of Belgian-style beers, and already I can hear the satisfying *gasp*-plop-clink as beer snobs everywhere widen their eyes in surprise and their monocles fall out into their tulip-stemmed glasses of Chimay. Well, stuff it anyway. I don't mind admitting that I'd rather have an IPA or a Stout, given a choice.

Thus, I figured it would be a good idea to spread the work around a little for the critiquing of a new beer from Lighthouse Brewing, as it's easy to hijack the credit and even easier to shuffle off the blame.

Lighthouse is well-known for what I'd refer to as workmanlike craft brewing. Their Beacon IPA is not as punchy as Phillip's Hop Circle, or even Granville Island's Brockton, but you're assured of consistent quality if you order a pint at your local, and I'll have you know I had two flats each of Beacon and Race Rocks as the beers at my wedding, and I'm still happily married. Coincidence?

Well, yes, absolutely. Marriage is about communication and commitment, not beer.

Anyway, Lighthouse's new "Small Brewery - Big Flavour" series aims to take that conservative brewing style and chuck it out the window. Shipwreck Triple IPA, Navigator Doppelbock and now a new Belgian Saison dubbed Deckhand all aim to take on the premium craft brewers at their own game.

What better match-up, then, than a head-to-head with Driftwood's well-established Farmhand Saison?

I dragooned both my better half (Katie), her crazy French-Canadian friend Lysanne, and Lysanne's annoyingly handsome boyfriend Todd (you won't find any pictures of him here as he makes me feel extra insecure in my ginger pudginess) into being associate judges. To avoid a priori assumptions, I didn't tell them which beer was which, and they were eager to begin...


While they're tasting, a quick word about the beer labels. The Farmhand sports the sort of interesting art we've come to expect from Driftwood. It's colourful, distinctive, and the pitchfork theme will appeal to fans of American Gothic, though it might alienate Frankenstein's Monster.

Whoever drew the artwork on the Deckhand label, however, has obviously been watching a lot of anime, and I don't mean Pokemon. Talk about your huge tracts of land.

Anyway, let's hear from the judges:

-Lysanne:
"Wow! They're totally different. This one [Farmhand] has much more flavour, but this one [Deckhand] is a much easier drinking beer"
-Katie:
"Yeah, this one you can just drink this [Farmhand], that one [Deckhand] you have to think about it."

Consensus? Round one to the Farmhand

Round Two: Fight!
Lysanne (on the left) thinking hard. My wife, the amorphous blob.
Note: do not call your wife "the amorphous blob". Not even once. Divorce is expensive, and receiving a sharp kick to the gentleman's area is painful.

-Lysanne:
"At first I'd say, this [Farmhand] is just a beer to enjoy, to go with a meal..."
-Katie:
"Yeah, this one [Deckhand] I like it, I like it, but you can only have one."
-Me:
"It's more Belgian-y, which is surprising, because it's the Lighthouse." [see, this is why I enlisted help]
-Katie:
"Yeah, no I really like it!"
Todd:
"I kinda think the-"
-Me (interrupting and being pedantic)
"Well, they've got three, the Navigator, which is a Dopplebock, and the Shipwreck, which is a triple IPA."

Consensus: Round two to the Deckhand!

Round Three: Tie-breaker!

-Todd:
"I don't think we liked this [the Deckhand] last time as much as we do now."
-Lysanne:
"I think it's going better with the cold cuts [prosciutto and others from Choux Choux Charcuterie]
-Katie:
"I liked it better, but I could only have one."
-Me:
"Deckhand it is!"


Result!

Deckhand narrowly wins by decision!

Post-Battle Review

Farmhand remained everybody's go-to favourite for everyday quaffing, and the bottle was emptied first, but it's a surprising upset win for Lighthouse's Deckhand! It might have a silly bottle adorned with ludicrous boobies, but the beer inside has a flavour that's full and rounded and perky and... sorry, what were we talking about again?

Oh, right. Well, it's a victory for Lighthouse's Deckhand, and I'm happy to say that if you're looking for that authentic Saison flavour, it's your go-to beer du jour.

Driftwood Farmhand Belgian Saison
Recommended if:
-you're looking for an easy-drinking Belgian
-you're a pitchfork enthusiast
-you want your beer on tap

Not Recommended if:
-you have a collection of tulip-shaped glassware
-you've been stitched together from corpses and re-animated by a mad scientist
-you know the Belgian national anthem off by heart

Lighthouse Deckhand Belgian Saison
Recommended if:
-mmm, boobs
-you want a ester-packed big Belgian
-you're in the navy, but not the Village People kind

Not recommended if:
-you're embarrassed by labels
-you don't even like Belgian chocolate
-you live in a land-locked country