Tuesday, April 5, 2011

An Open Letter From BC's Craft Brewers To Adem Tepedelen

Dear so-called Brewtal so-called Truth,

"Stop being so timid and so apologetic". Oh yeah? So's your face! You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny, and you like bands who appear to be competing in a Joan-Jett-lookalike contest for drag queens. Also, we're not sorry.

Listen bub, beer-brewing ain't all lollipops and rainbows and gumdrop houses. Except maybe at Phillips. The real truth of brewing is the same as for any business: we're trying to produce a quality product and sell it in a market that's rapidly becoming more competitive every day.

We haven't needlessly been kowtowing to the masses, we've been selling beer! And then the Ralph Wiggums of the world go and vote Kokanee into a tie with Blue Buck. Let's face it, making craft beer is hard work.

Now granted, most of the time we're all extremely drunk at work, and there are other perks too, but you can't sit there and claim that we don't Bring It.

Crossover beers? How about Driftwood Singularity? There's a beer that will help you "cross-over." Into unconsciousness. Or how about Central City's Red Racer? We'd put that up against Sierra Nevada anytime. Hell, it'd go head to head more with their Torpedo Double! What about that new thing we've been doing at Lighthouse and Granville Island where we run an experimental line of bombers as well as the consistent favourites that get the brand message out?

We hear what you're saying about different and more extreme styles but you know what? There's a stomach for every pint out there, and the style you like might actually not work for someone else. Guess what? Lager tastes like lager! People like that about lager. If we make it with cranberries and goosefat and the droppings of reindeer that are fed on nothing but Palisades Hops and call it Christmas lager then (surprise surprise) it's not lager any more. We may occasionally be conservative, but we're still making a high quality beer.

Okay, so you and I know that what we really want is the beer equivalent of a guy in spray-on trousers playing a double-headed electric guitar that's shaped like a claymore. With his face. While we'll never knowingly brew a Kenny G or (God strike me dead if I tell a lie) a Nickleback type of beer, it's important to remember that taste is subjective and there's always going to be a few beers in every brewers lineup that don't shred as much as you'd like them to.

If we went balls-out every time and only brewed extreme beers, then never mind Sierra Nevada, we'd only be as successful as BrewDog or Stone Brewing, or Lagunitas.

Er... wait.


-BC Craft Brewers


  1. Only one thing I didn't like about this: my name is misspelled.

  2. I fixed it. Seriously though, there's more e's in Adem Tepedelen than there's E in Charlie Sheen's morning smoothie.

  3. Im going to have to agree with Adem here. Absolutely on the money, man. Fuck this pussy bullshit, let's beat the Yanks not just copy them. This market is ready to get crazy and experimental and be successful. Let's take a page from Stone Brewing and say screw you if you want to drink pissy yellow beer. Driftwood Brewing is paving the way for what could be possible in BC. We should fulfill this promise and show the world we're not a bunch of namby-pamby wimps, afraid to shake things up a little. As long as that doesn't offend, I mean...

  4. Well said. Thanks for the support.

  5. Just want to say your article is astounding.!2bose